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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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22 entries this month
 

Prescient Fore-memory

15:05 May 29 2005
Times Read: 1,015


Prescient Fore-memory



I’d like to know whether anyone knows about Prescient Fore-memory, which I’ve been aware of now, since 1999 … or so … an twice over … at least … (‘ish!)


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Missed

15:04 May 29 2005
Times Read: 1,016


Missed



A still warm cloudy morning that promises rain, as I stand on the station platform, having watched my train depart by a minute … (or so) and I muse aloud after five minutes, “Why is it that every train is going the other way?


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Liverpool played …

15:03 May 29 2005
Times Read: 1,017


Liverpool played …



As Liverpool played I sat at the p.c. I did get to see the final goal though.

They won the European Cup, for the fifth time, so they can retain it.

Thing was, I’d spent the evening deliberating on storylines and having the occasional bout of overwhelming loneliness.

I had phoned two people I used to be able to rely on – they were out, so I wrote.

Sometimes, if I didn’t have this as an outlet, I’m sure I’d crack up… so, I’ll carry on.

After the placement and the project, I wandered through town in attempt to get home.

There were about ¾ million people to see the return of the team and the cup, it’s said.

Aye, I’d believe it, they were all going the other way to me!


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Prescient Fore-memory 11

15:01 May 29 2005
Times Read: 1,018


Prescient Fore-memory 11



And … I’d really like to know whether anyone out there knows anything about Prescient Fore-memory … ?


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Permanent

19:44 May 25 2005
Times Read: 1,023


Permanent?



Many temporary workers often aspire to a permanent position and the terms and conditions associated with it.

Yet, it could be asked, “How permanent is permanent?”

The definition of the word permanent is described as:

‘lasting or remaining without essential change.’ and

‘not expected to change in status, condition, or place.’

But picture the individual, who has worked in an office, (like perhaps say, the commercial firm contracted to the passport office?) going from one three-month contract to another, aspiring to a permanent contract, given time.

Imagine that after a year or so, that individual achieving their goal, a permanent contract of employment; and then, he learns their firm is to merge with their leading competitor and that no-one’s job is safe: (like perhaps say, the countries two leading cable providers?)

Well, when I say ‘no-one’s job is safe, I do mean, except for the managers and the director’s; almost every time.

It’s just a thought… But I mean, when you learn some thing’s, you have to ask,

“How permanent is permanent?”


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four in a day ...

17:00 May 22 2005
Times Read: 1,027


It rained a lot this Saturday … well, other than that it was sunny, bar the hail and the lightning … we don't have one king of weather.

We have four in a day ...


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hmm ...

16:58 May 22 2005
Times Read: 1,028


And at the end of my first week on my placement, I’m aware the honeymoon period is over ~ and it’s with a degree of trepidation I ‘look forward’ to next week …


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Coral

16:57 May 22 2005
Times Read: 1,029


I spent much of the Thursday out with a technician who had taken me on several jobs with him … even got a steak meal at lunch-time, which had been unexpected.

[I had helped solve a job.] Anyway, on my return from the soup kitchen later, I ran into a friend from college, who said, ‘… I’ve tickets to see … Do you want to come?’

I said “yes.” [Of course!]

I don’t do gigs, I say.

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing The Coral at The Carling Academy.

It was hot, noisy and … great!


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Wednesday, the 18th

16:45 May 22 2005
Times Read: 1,030


On Wednesday, the 18th, I arose to a fine looking day, staring out of the back window to see if the young fox was there, my little Mother had spotted the day previously.

It wasn’t. But, I did hear on the Radio those words ‘… has won’ in relation to a film competition. Now, that was a good way to start the day!


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Commuting distraction

16:33 May 22 2005
Times Read: 1,031


Commuting distraction



Early morning I sat on the train, book on my lap, as I stared at the words on the page, more than once glancing to my right; and the slim attractive feet of the young Asian woman, sitting across from me; delicate they were, eased into a low heel casual shoe.

Commuting can be so distracting.


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Up at 6:00

16:25 May 22 2005
Times Read: 1,032


Up at 6:00



Up at 6:00 & went to Hamilton Hse to begin my placement with IT services.

From 9:00 to 12:00 went ‘just like that’ as I’d checked about twenty p.c.’s to see which had worked. Later, I’d replaced a power pack, and a hard drive ~ something I’ve never done.

I got home to find an apology off the dole for the letter they’d sent last Friday, saying that I was off the scheme.



An apology off the dole ~ unheard of!


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17th May ... and commuting

19:20 May 18 2005
Times Read: 1,034


Early morning, as I sat on the train, book on my lap, I stared at the words on the page,

more than once glancing to my right; and, the slim feet of the young Asian woman, sitting across from me; delicate they were, eased into a low heel casual shoe.

Commuting can be so … diverting.


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1th May 2005

19:18 May 18 2005
Times Read: 1,035


Up at 6:00 and went to Hamilton Hse to begin my placement with IT services.

From 9:00 to 12:00 went ‘just like that’ as I checked over about twenty p.c.’s to see which had worked.

Later I’d replaced a power pack and a hard-drive ~ something I’ve never done, or dreamt of doing!

Then, when I got home I found a message from the dole apologising for the letter I’d received last week, telling me I was off the scheme.


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Learnt Ignorance

19:00 May 11 2005
Times Read: 1,043


Learnt Ignorance



I’ve been researching of late the topic of Men’s Health of late.



And, we annoy me. I mean: Men are socially trained about their bodies from an early age. For example, a boy’s first interest shown in his genitals is often greeted with “don’t do that, it’s dirty!”



Often this is said by the primary carer, his Mother, who he looks to for guidance as he grows and learns.



I recall well that as a child I had a distinct fascination with others bits, as we played Doctors and Nurses.

It was always played covertly, as even at 4,5 and 6 we had learnt one didn’t experiment, like that, not ‘down there.’

Our inhibitions are learnt.



The maxim ‘big boys don’t cry’ is heard as one grows through boyhood, with every bump, cut and scrape.



Therefore, is it any wonder then when the child becomes a man he is reluctant to take care of himself ‘down there’ as it’s dirty; with a reluctance to seek medical aid/ attention when needed.

These inhibitions have been learnt.



If we want to address the issue of men’s health it would be useful to unlearn them; or rather, it might be preferable if they were not taught at all.







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a novelty.

15:41 May 10 2005
Times Read: 1,044


It's sunny and I'm doing pretty good and ... just for a change ... and here to chat: not to put work up .... a novelty.


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I hate being stupid!

13:20 May 09 2005
Times Read: 1,045


I left it at home ...

my poem ~ my pic ~ and, I'll be back shortly!

Oh gawd, I hate being stupid!


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Have you ever noticed ... ?

14:28 May 06 2005
Times Read: 1,048


Have you ever noticed that if you compile a list of synonyms for a word or phrase, it is easier to list the negatives, rather than the reverse?



I wonder if this might suggest that we have a natural predisposition to do so ~ hence the results?



Could it be that we also see ourselves in a similar manner, considering our lower values to be of more worth than our higher?



It could also suggest an innate desire to deny our word-power, as ‘dumbing down’ is fashionable.



After all, as a species, man is a self-centred animal and most acquisition is of a very personal nature; some might say ‘selfish.’



A man or woman’s journey can be was one need.

It is this that makes the act of acquisition so intense.



And, sometimes the path followed can be fraught with those negative values, so producing a poor lifestyle, in comparison with others of a similar age.



Yet, if acquisition is a facet of mans addictive psyche, I muse on what point does obsession fit into the equation?



The need to acquire, to the exclusivity of all else is where addiction is the sole focus of an individuals experience.



An, surely that can’t be a good thing?


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Aarrgghhh ... typical!

15:47 May 05 2005
Times Read: 1,052


At present its that instantly soaking rain.

It's either that, or sun.

And, my placement starts 16th I applied for to the discretionary fund the day an email tell the dole staff the allowance is no longer £300, but now £100



Aarrgghhh ... typical!


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I know that last entry sounded maudlin.

20:42 May 04 2005
Times Read: 1,054


I know that last entry sounded maudlin.

But, it was honest ...

and I do so appreciate that.



Thing is, I'm listening to talk of football in the background ... an I'll tell you what I like about it ... their out and out honest enthusiasm ... y'know?


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I do hate losing people from my life ...

20:26 May 04 2005
Times Read: 1,056


I came here to see someones work.

Now I've found that there are people here who can understand.

I've found some who can listen.

So, I shared some of my work.

And, to those who offer me critisism or the occasional compliment, "Hi" it was good to meet you.



This isn't a goodbye.



It's just that I realise then when people leave, then if we regard them well, we should wish them well.



That was hard to take on board.

I do so hate losing people from my life ...

and I know hate is a strong word.



But, occasionally it's the right word to use!


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I liked this …

16:30 May 04 2005
Times Read: 1,057


I liked this …



“What we are never changes



Who we are always changes.”



- Gil Grissom (C.S.I.)


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disorientated:

17:34 May 01 2005
Times Read: 1,059


What do you do when a renowned games player contacts you saying I want to see if we can be friends? It’d been what was wanted and they say they’ll try.

Well now I know what happens.

From my own perspective, that is.



I feel displaced ~ disorientated: and a little shocked that it could be as has happened and predicted. Yet, happen it did.



And, thankfully, there is still a new day tomorrow. Still …


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